bone road

Now it’s back to the grind.

   This winter was like non other, a complete rational devastation. As if a thick un-moveable mental fog rolled in; a dense greasy fog with an unforgivable grip. A haze of delusion, the delusion that food, and not just food but chips, bread, juice, sweets, cheese, flavored yogurt and peanut butter (pure evil in a glass gar) were O.K. Ok? … OK if you’d like to gain TEN pounds- and that is sadly, just what happened. So now I am around eight pounds heavier (as I have lost a few of those pounds in the last couple of weeks) then I was last summer and about fifteen pounds from where I’d like to be- and then we'll see, maybe I'll lose more, but that is my aim right now; lose fifteen pounds. I’m making educated guesses as I refuse to weigh myself until I know I’ve lost a good chunk of weight. I am in the process of a big move, a move to a new house, a new roommate, a new city, and a province over, and cannot afford potentially wasted time spent in the hospital on account  of a panic attack or hiding in bed wanting nothing more than to die as a result of a weigh-in right now. I will set a weigh-in date down the road…

-This was a dramatic post, I am not always this dramatic (I just needed to pound this into my head, make it click) – I really find level-headed is the best way to go about restricting in Karolina’s (Lina be 93)* words:

 “Lose weight straight and fast, unapologetically, unthinkingly.”   

 

This is exactly what will be done. Lose weight straight and fast. Straight and fast, unthinkingly.

Back to the grind, back down bone road.  

 

*I find endless inspiration from this blog and although she has not recently posted (I hope she is well) I still visit her blog if I’m in need to sum-up some strength and or grow- a-pair.

 

-Eva